We’ve talked about this before, but this feeling seems to never go away and it’swhen we’ve eaten a normal amount of food in day, we’re mad at ourselves. Then if we’ve under eaten, there’s a sense of proudness mixed with guilt, and you get it too...
Oh yes. When I haven't eaten, I'm mad at myself because, well, I need to be looking after myself better, but I am like *in a playful, upbeat tone* skinnnyyyy! I know it’s bad and it’s something I need to work on.
Do you think our generation has suffered the worst when it comes to body ideals and EDs?
Yes, because of social media. You could say that nineties or the sixties when the Twiggy look was in and then that's where heroin chic was derived from, but no. I think we’ve been impacted the worst. For sure.
How do you feel about current day trends with the likes of Gabriette and Charlie XCX bringing back super skinny look mixed with the glamourization of drugs like cocaine and ketamine?
I *hesitates* ... I love it for the aesthetics, but it shouldn't be an aesthetic. I love Charli’s songs but not the lyrics, like how she glorifies coke, it's ridiculous. *Pauses* I find it scary how full forced the skinny movement has come back because now I want to look like Bella Hadid, instead of Kylie Jenner and Kim Kardashian, and everyone is either on Ozempic or taking drugs to get skinner.
This may seem random, but clothing is interesting in the sense that it is another form of moulding your body into your ideal figure. Do you ever try to look smaller with clothes and achieve your ideal body?
Yes. 100%. That's why I always wear my tennis skirt and with a tucked shirt it gives the look of an hourglass, so the slim-thick thing never went away. Another weird thing is that I never like to feel big, I get insecure even when I have too many hoods on me because my hair's big enough as it is. I've always had times where I feel big even though I'm not at all. It's because of the hair.
Lastly, as of right now, where do you stand with your food issues and your body image?
Well, I can eat now. Food is something I crave now, and I love my body and I love my weight. Although I am scared, constantly, of gaining more weight.
Will that fear ever go away?
Hell no. That never goes away, it’s ingrained in me.