“I ended up choosing physical comfort over trying to fit in. “
Feeling self-conscious about something is normal. But how we deal with it can either make us stronger or slowly destroy our wellbeing.
Body hair wasn’t always something many paid close attention to. Films from just a few decades ago show people normally existing, enjoying their time and showing off some skin and everything that comes with it. Women with armpit hair that couldn’t care less about if it looked ok because it was normal. But at some point, it started being seen as undesirable. And thus, the attempt to fight against what was a part of natural things began.
Leg hair on females is also seen rarely. If that is because of others actually caring so much or everyone thinking it matters that much is hard to know.
"I didn’t care about how people saw me when I was younger. But once all the other girls around me started talking about it, I became more aware of it and started wearing longer clothes to hide it. “
“My skin is far from perfect. And only in recent years has it been getting better. But growing up with extremely dry skin it was hard. The few times I tried shaving my leg hair, it felt extremely uncomfortable. Itchy, and the clean shave felling lasted maybe a day. Very quickly it became prickly and even more annoying. I think it caused more ingrown hairs. So, it became a battle. Either I can shave to feel less self-conscious for two days, but feel uncomfortable with prickly legs, or I can go with physical comfort and only feel like everyone is judging me.”
Do you think other people had an influence on how you saw yourself?
“Can’t say for certain. Sometimes I felt secretly judged for some things, but no one ever said anything to my face. Take my dance team for example. Because most of the girls in my group were very close to each other and very uptight, I always felt like the odd one out. And having leg hair made me worry even more that it would be something to separate us even more. But I guess they just weren’t my type of people.”
You mentioned you started thinking about it more once others started talking about it openly. Is there someone in particular you feel had an impact on that?
“I had a friend who was also self-conscious about her body hair. Leg hair, arm hair or even armpit hair. Many times, did she complain about it, how annoying it is to shave all the time, but also how nasty it feels when it isn’t shaved. Her main concern was with the armpit hair. And she would always tell me how lucky I am to not have armpit hair. Which, sure, I had only a tiny bit and barely visible, however, my skin was anything but easy to deal with. Everything felt itchy all the time, I had rashes and eczema, and many bumps and rough patches. To her something she wanted, to me a part of a much bigger issue that has caused me a lot of trouble. When I told her how self-conscious I am about the hair on my legs she said nobody notices. I tried to believe her, but the feeling never went away. “
Body hair on men sounds like it would be less of a challenging topic. But in recent times it seems that even men are self-conscious about their hair.
For some time, the stereotypical man had short hair, and body hair was expected. Now, more males are starting to shave and not just their beards. Some letting their hair grow into long and lushes' locks that some girls would be jealous of. Going far into history we see it wasn’t so odd for men to have long hair. Vikings are known for that. And taking good care of one’s hair was very important to them. And for the more centre of Europe, there are many paintings of nobles with long hair. Of course, in those cases it’s probably thanks to wigs. And it was something the higher classes could indulge in.
Nowadays, it’s very rare for men to wear wigs, weaves or any extensions. Even in cases of early balding. The concern for them is they feel less of a man because of it. And having to hide it, only prolongs the issue. If it was something more people talked about, less men would feel like it is something to be ashamed of.
The journey to self-acceptance is for many a long one. And learning to be comfortable in one's skin without changing to fit the unspoken rules of others can feel uplifting. By prioritizing our physical and emotional ease, we can define ourselves on our own terms, proving that what we carry naturally is not a flaw, but simply a part of who we are.